Here’s another personal excerpt to add my long list of stories about my constant fight towards this ill that has gotten me.
The word “adulting” played a crucial role today.
Despite that sudden rush to the school’s clinic… Despite that fainting spell I experienced awhile ago… I still continued on stuDYING like nothing happened.
It was hard at first… When all of a sudden, blackness dominated my conscious being. It’s as if my brain has gone tired with all these scoring and assessments it decided to take a break… with or without my consent.
However, when blackness welcomed me… After a few agonizing minutes (actually, I really have no idea how long I was out… They said it was just for a while) comes the explicitly white exterior. My mind buffered for a few more minutes….
Confusion bombarded my tired mind. I then realized, I am still at school. After a terribly long sermon and lengthy advices from the doc… I was finally released from the white place. (I am thankful for my age… If I was a minor, they wouldn’t easily let me out and will demand for a chaperone).
I still thank God because it didn’t happen during my client meeting. (What would my client think of my credibility if that happened in front of him?).
Despite all these low BPs and severe anemia dominating my weary being…. I still managed to survive today’s wrath. I was still able to pass that paper which is way past the due date… Was able to convert raw scores to T scores, was able to interpret the draw-a- person test quantitatively… And many more. This day was still productive despite that unexpected commotion awhile ago.
I just hope and pray that my world would stop spinning for a change. It’s been weeks already, can’t these earthquakes stop disturbing my whole being? Also, I hope I won’t look like a zombified-vampiric-look-alike being anymore… Even lipsticks can’t address my colorless face.
This is an indication that I need to sleep soon.
Lord, be my guide for the last remaining days of this term. I am so tired, so dizzy, so weak. Nausea has conquered my being.
~ H (December 13, 2017; 1:11am)