Before I sleep my dearest… 

And before I sleep my dearest,

sing no melancholic lullabies for me,

for my heart is frail and my mind is weak. I am easily swayed by emotions and easily cry to little things. I already know where this is all going, where we are all going. It’s a destination I am not looking forward to so please… take it easy, try to break down into pieces the harsh truth that I am about to face.

Before I sleep my dearest, 

tell no lonely goodbyes for me..

for I still yearn for you, I still cling to you like lice that how many times I tried putting my mind off from you, you still dominate my heart, my whole being. I am well aware that I am not only standing by the edge of the knife or clinging to you like I am at the brink of despair… I am treading into thin ice and I know that one wrong move, one wrong step then everything is history.

Before I sleep my dearest,

say no lies and false hopes and promises. I am the girl who easily believes in everything; the one who easily expects, and the one who gets hurt quite easily. Feed me with the truth even though the result can shatter my heart, and my soul. Punch me with the harsh reality that your heart is already set for someone else. 

Before I sleep my dearest,

Grab the opportunity to hold me while I am still conscious, while I am still awake… talk to me, speak to me, tell me the contents of your heart. I don’t care if it’s about her or someone you know, I don’t care if it will shred my heart into pieces, I don’t care if it will put my mind into a chaotic state and dilemma, I don’t care if it will shatter my whole being.. All I am asking is I want to hear from you. So that I could put an end to this, to end this miserable journey and to move on. 
Before I peacefully sleep my dearest..

sing no melancholic lullabies for me, tell no lonely goodbyes for me, say no lies, and false hopes and promises… I want to hear from you… I’ve missed you. 

~ H (July 16, 2017; 12:22am)

p.s. I have incoherent thoughts because I am sleepy at the same time highly emotional. I hope this article is okay. 

I cried today… 

I cried today…

Not with the reasons that you’re thinking. I cried because of my acads, I felt that it’s me against the world. It is so ironic that I am promoting a ‘Feed HOPE’ program but it feels that I need to be also immersed in this intervention. 
I cried today…

for I felt that all the worries of the world are in my shoulders. I felt that I am hopeless in this hopeful world. I realized that I am at the brink of my sanity and I know anytime soon I am going to lose it. I realized that I’ve reached my limitations, that I also get tired, that I also lose hope. 
I cried today…

because I thought I am in control with things. Then I realized that sometimes things will not go the way you planned it. I realized that it isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, that I also need to go through with this to make me stronger. 
I cried today…

because I feel so alone today. Comforting words and friends were there to my rescue but it seems that their words are not passing through my mind and not sinking in to my heart. 
But did you know that…

I smiled today…
because I realized that sad things won’t stay forever… that pain is just a temporary thing. I realized that I have a family that could back me up, and friends who wont get tired bickering you with positive things. 
I smiled today…

because I realized that I am so blind to not see that God is with me. I failed to realize that He is in control, that He holds the ignition to my life, that He holds the pen to my story. 
I smiled today…

for the warmthness of all your hugs gave warmth to my frigid heart. It gave me an assurance that everything will be okay.. that I will be okay.
I laughed today…

because of the simple things. It was such a timely and rare occurence to get to hear your friends’ voices from the recording… to know that you have such friends for keeps. 
I laughed today…

for I realized that everything is a matter of persective. You choose your own happiness and sadness.

And right now although this may sound abrupt and downright impossible… but now I am going to try to choose happiness. 
~ H (June 29, 2017; 10:38pm) 

She sighed heavily…

She sighed heavily as she knew this moment would not last forever. 
She knew that you have a different rhythm, a different beat, and a different flow that no matter how many times she tried, she would not fit in your heart. She knew that you are holding a different chess piece, a different key and unfortunately it does not much hers. 
She looked at the bright moon and heavily sighed again, for she realized that she is not your moon nor the stars that light up your night sky.  She knew that she is not your sun that could light up your day nor the clouds that could shade you under the blistering sun. 
She knew that there is someone else, someone far better than her. At least she knew, at least she knew… 
However nothing could ever prepare her for what was about to come, no matter how many times she will be reminded that your heartbeat is beating for someone else, she will still yearn for you, she wil still look after you, and she will still love you even though it hurts. 
So there she sat under the moonlight, breathing in the cold night air and letting the raindrops of late summer rain intertwine with her years of heartbreak. 
~ H (June 25, 2017, 10:32am) 

Entry #14

As I stare at the moonless sky
I could not help but release a sigh
I do not know what will I do
Did I act carelessly or without a clue?

As the stars continue to twinkle down at me
Not knowing that sadness is what they see
Will my sadness be atoned or put in vain?
Couldn’t withstand this developing pain

Darkness trying to dominate my weary heart
Rising questions that are tearing me apart
Will I be able to voice out that I am okay?
Or will I continue to be filled with dismay?

One thing is for certain, one thing is for sure,
Faith and prayer are my only cure
To an illness that got me from this disheveled state
All I have to do is earnestly wait.

#HVM ~ 1:58am, April 4, 2013
lol. can’t believe I wrote this -.-
Anyways, rest assured. I’m okaay, happy and blessed. 🙂

The Aftermath: The Social Dilemma’s Reasons and Outcomes

The purpose of this article is to bring awareness to the people of society. Through this article you will see the casualties the divorce brings and why is it inevitable in our daily lives.


The Aftermath: The Social Dilemma’s Reasons and Outcomes

“We have a schizophrenic culture about marriage in this country,” says Johns Hopkins, professor Andrew Cherlin, who wrote the book, “The Marriage-Go-Around,” which explores the American habit of marriage “Churning” – people divorcing and marrying quickly. “We value marriage, but we also value thinking about ourselves – what makes us happy, what makes us most fulfilled. We think if we are not happy we have the right to end our relationships. And when we see the clash, we are surprised by it.” This anecdote is all about marriage turning 180 degrees turn. What could be the reason why couples’ break up is trending nowadays? How much damage will it make? One wrong move and one wrong turn then lives are shattered into minute quantities. Divorce is no joke. It is a serious matter wherein lives are involved here and in every decision and choice made it will have a gradual change in one’s family. Divorce is a social dilemma which is caused by feminism, approval of law and family factors. In this article, you will have an overview on what are the roots and consequences of divorce.

“If there iss one thing feminists love, it is divorce – they consider it liberating.” That’s just one of the claims Phyllis Schlafly and her co-author Suzanne Venker make in their new book, ‘The Flipside of Feminism: What Conservative Women Know – And Men Can’t Say.’ Feminism is one of the chief causes of divorce. Women changing roles nowadays has a drastic effect in our society. Recently women does not stay home and do the chores but instead have their own job and careers. Back then, women stay home and do the household chores and serve their own family but now you can see that women have been engrossed with their job that they do not have time with their family. This same scenario occurs also with men so what is left now with their children? “When women went to work in the 1970s, whether from necessity or choice, they began to feel entitled to ask their husband to do more at home, and when their husbands resisted they felt entitled to press the issue, instead of “gracefully giving in,” as the advice books of the 1950s had advised wives (but not husbands) to do in case of disagreement. So I think that feminism initially led to more outright conflict in marriages because women felt less pressure to simply put up with bad behavior or an unfair division of labor.” This is according to Stephanie Coontz, the president of the Council of Contemporary Families and a respected Family Studies professor. There is a radical variation when women suddenly changed roles and the possible outcome may be less time in their family. With this proposition it is clearly obvious that women have become independent with their husbands and dependent in money because they are able to earn income for themselves. It is a general rule that the obligation of a father is to provide the needs and necessities of his family but it so happens that women is also filling the duty of their husbands. The independence of women may lead to divorce because women have the courage to leave their husbands. Women tend to leave their husbands in the slightest form of action that will provoke them.

Another chief cause of divorce is the approval of law. There are only two countries who do not have a divorce bill and they are Philippines and Vatican City. Malta’s divorce bill has already been approved at the early October of 2011 when their president has signed it. So that leaves Philippines and Vatican City the only two countries who do not have a divorce bill.  Approving a divorce bill has its severe weight in the society because it allows the couples to break up and not settle their differences with each other. If there is no divorce law then there will be fewer couples who will break up; because if there is a divorce law like we have right now then couples would have a tendency that they will break up since there is an existing law that could break them apart. Women and men tend to use this divorce bill as assurance or remedy for their relationships. If they cannot settle their differences then the law speaks for them. Couples will not make an effort to work out their marriage.

In the Philippines and Vatican City, they already have a Legal Separation Law. The problem with legal separation is this – the couple may separate, physically and their properties divided accordingly, but this law does not allow them to remarry. The Divorce Bill is final and absolute and cuts the marriage as finished. The divorced couple can remarry without legal impediments.

Lastly, another reason why divorce is dominating in our lives is because of family factors. In this biased world, everyone is not blessed with wealth. The majority of families in our world are suffering poverty and that is why both parents are forced to work harder just to earn a living and lift themselves up from this distressing hardship. This may result less time with their family and less time with their spouse. Husbands and wives need to communicate but in this situation, it is not possible to have time especially when they are both too engrossed with their jobs and clouded with determination to earn money. The possible outcome of this is misunderstanding and eventually may lead to separation then divorce. An example of this is one most likely apply a job abroad just to sustain their needs, leaving their family. The spouse may get lonely and may look for another lover just to fill out the emptiness they feel.

Divorce is not just a matter taken lightly. You have read in this article the severe reasons of divorce. But what are its outcomes? It does not only involve the couples but their children are already affected. Children who have divorced parents are forced to experience the pain and separation from their parents. Family is the basic unit of society and its significance is so great that the relationship inside a family should be harmonious. Couples do not have to break up and live their lives separately; they can always settle their own differences and willingly understand each other so no one will suffer their decision. No one has to suffer; no one has to pay the price just because of one fatal mistake. The causes of divorce are lamentable and we should try to consider them, for having a good relationship and avoid falling in the marriage.



~Not my kind of topic. Divorce?! -.- Where will I get my inspiration to write this? Hahaha, “Forced to write this piece again”.